You know that feeling when you leave certain conversations completely drained? Or when you get sucked into an online argument (from that alluring comments section) that leaves you upset for hours afterward? What if I told you there’s a name for what’s happening—and more importantly, a way to protect yourself from it?
Welcome to the world of pendulums – sort of energy vampires, one of the most eye-opening concepts I’ve learned through Reality Transurfing.
What Exactly Is a Pendulum according to Reality Transurfing?
Think of a pendulum as any collective energy structure that feeds off human emotional reactions. It could be:
- A toxic workplace culture
- Social media outrage cycles
- Family drama that repeats the same patterns
- Even positive things like sports teams or causes (when taken to extremes)
But here’s what makes this concept fascinating: the structure is called a pendulum because the more people—adherents—that feed it with their energy, the more powerfully it sways. Every pendulum has its own characteristic beat frequency, like a resonant frequency that draws people in.
When the number of adherents decreases, the pendulum weakens. If it loses all its adherents, it stops completely and ceases to exist. Think about defunct pendulums: ancient pagan religions, stone tools, outdated fashion trends, vinyl records. They once had massive followings, but when people stopped feeding them energy, they faded away.
The ‘Societal Expectations’ Pendulum That Almost Broke Me
Growing up in an Indian family, I was intimately familiar with one of the most powerful pendulums: societal expectations. This pendulum runs on a simple but devastating fuel: guilt.
From childhood, we’re trained to obey the will of others—to perform our duties, serve our family, our community, our culture. “What will people say?” becomes the invisible force guiding every decision. “What will my parents say?” drives your decisions and choices.
I remember being in my twenties and thirties, living exactly the life that looked good on paper: stable job, following the expected path, making choices that would make my family proud. But I was miserable.
The guilt was relentless. Every time I considered deviating from the expected script—pursuing art instead of finance, traveling alone as a single woman, making choices for my happiness rather than family approval—the pendulum would activate: “Good daughters and wives don’t do that. You’re being selfish. Think about your parents’ reputation. Think about your children who need you, don’t follow your silly dreams.”
The pendulum kept me trapped because it convinced me that my compliance was love, that my sacrifice was virtue.
How Pendulums Hook You
Pendulums are incredibly sophisticated at manipulation. They’ve trained us from childhood to give up our power to choose our own destiny, because independent individuals are much harder to control.
The strongest string a pendulum can pull you with is fear—the most ancient and powerful human emotion. It doesn’t matter what you’re afraid of; if the fear connects to the pendulum, it gets your energy.
But guilt might be even more insidious. Guilt is imposed on us from early childhood and becomes a convenient method of control as if to say “If you are guilty, you must do what I say.” We’re taught that guilt equals love, that sacrifice equals virtue.
Here’s how pendulums hook you:
- They make you feel righteous about being angry or afraid or resentful
- They convince you that you MUST respond to that comment/email/situation
- They turn your sense of duty against you
- They make you believe resisting them or choosing different means you’re selfish or irresponsible
- They use your own values as weapons against your freedom
The moment you start feeling that familiar emotional charge—the compulsion to defend, explain, or comply— unfortunately, you’ve been hooked. But there are ways to set yourself free from the Pendulum beast without fighting it.
The Art of Not Feeding the Beast
Here’s what changed everything for me: I started asking myself one simple question whenever I felt that familiar emotional charge: “Am I feeding a pendulum right now?”
Usually, the answer was yes.
Remember – DO NOT FIGHT PENDULUMS! Instead of fighting the pendulum (which just gives it more energy), I learned to:
- Step back mentally: “Oh, this is a pendulum trying to hook me.”
- Choose not to engage: Not every comment needs a response, not every argument needs my participation
- Redirect my energy: Focus on what I actually want to create instead
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Last month, I found myself in a instrusive conversation with a relative about my life choices. The familiar guilt was rising: “You should be grateful for everything your family has done for you. How can you be so selfish?”
I could feel myself getting defensive, preparing to justify every decision, explain why I wasn’t ungrateful, prove that I was still a good daughter despite choosing my own path.
Then I caught myself: “I’m feeding the guilt pendulum right now.”
The guilt pendulum was using my deepest values—love for family, gratitude, respect—to manipulate me into giving up my energy and autonomy.
Instead of engaging in the familiar dance of defense and justification, I said: “I love our family and I’m grateful for everything. And I’m also choosing what feels right for my life.”
No justification. No defense. No feeding the pendulum.
The conversation shifted immediately because the pendulum lost its grip when I stopped providing the emotional reaction it needed to survive.
Your Pendulum Awareness Experiment
Try this: Notice when you feel that familiar emotional charge—anger, outrage, the need to be right, the compulsion to respond or react.
Before you do anything, pause and ask: “Is this a pendulum trying to hook me?”
You don’t have to do anything dramatic. Just notice. Awareness alone starts to weaken the pendulum’s hold on you.
Remember: Pendulums aren’t something you need to (or should attempt to) fight, and you’re not bad for getting caught by them. They’re just energy structures doing what they do. The power comes in recognizing them and choosing whether or not to feed them your precious life energy.
What pendulums have you noticed in your own life? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.
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